“This is a wife. She looks happy, doesn’t she? That is because she is on her second glass of wine.”
Wives are very complicated – do not try to understand one without reading this instruction manual. You have much to learn. You will need to get to grips with chocolate, shopping, wine and them being right all the time. You will need to learn the art of deciphering hints and clues quickly; otherwise holidays and birthdays may not run smoothly. If all else fails, and especially if she really wants to talk, retreat to the roof and fix some roof tiles.